dude, i almost had the best dream last nite... it was sooooooo close! ugh... but stupid me... screwed things up again!

it was a sunny spring day... tank top and shorts... getting ready to take a trip somewhere... maybe to ITASA? i don't know... as i was closing the trunk... a familiar face appeared... i was exhilirated. haven't seen him in sooooo long... "Hi! How are ya?" as i reached to give him a hug... still gentle, still handsome. he looked like he had something to say to me... (i was sure he was gonna profess his love to me...) "You wanna take a walk in the forest?" as he pointed up the block... "sure!" i looked down at my shorts... i didn't want any mosquito bites... "let me go change first... i'll be right back. wait for me." (what a big mistake!) so i ran in the house, tried on every pair of jeans... must have been 5 or 6.. just couldn't find the right one! (these jeans all looked unfamiliar to me... where was my favorite pair?) i was taking forever.... and that was when i realized consciously and yet somewhat subconsciously that i was taking way too long and that i had to hurry things up... and then there it was... i realized i was only dreaming... got rudely awoken by my indecision... tried closing my eyes again... tried to continue that dream... as i ran out the door... and down the driveway... he was gone. nowhere to be found. too late. gone.

what the hell is wrong with me? this is the story of my life... i let guys wait way too long... because of my indecision, and because of my need to over-protect myself... mosquito bites? who cares!!! arghhh.... yeah... then i end up kicking myself in the ass when they're gone... arghhh. screw valentine's. screw love. what's real love anyways? blah.

DISCLAIMER FOR MY PREVIOUS BLOG: yes, it was actually jeying. hahaha! amazing huh?