I just scanned my previous blogs again... boy was I an angry person. every other blog was about how I hated my mom, and my most used word was "DIE." my poetry was grave... but it's the only way I can express my anger. Jing told me that she gets scared reading my poetry cuz they're so dark and violent. Yes, I think I am a violent writer. I have a smart mouth. My tongue is uncontrollable, and I have used it to bring down people.

This past weekend, I went on a retreat... I haven't been to one in over a year... it was good, because I felt that it was a retreat long past due. I was flipping through my lil blue book... a journal of all the notes taken of speakers, past retreats, and sunday services. and I came across this quote I scribbled down... "When you speak, say things that are to the benefit of others." wow. it's kinda like... if you have nothing good to say, then don't say it at all. The tongue is a powerful tool, a double-edged sword, if not used correctly, will only cause destruction and hurt. Have I used my tongue to the benefit of others lately? Have I used my tongue to the benefit of others EVER? I need to reevaluate what I say to others, and rather than bringing down others with my witty, sarcastic remarks, I need to edify my brothers and sisters in Christ. This is a public apology to all those I have brought down.

"The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be." -James 3:6-10