one more day at work here... ah. then on to more sleep and laundromat... hahaha... man, i have an interview at a Japanese bank tomorrow, hopefully, i will do okay and get that job... i need a real job, not just temping around being receptionists for people. today is gonna be a busy day... lots of meetings and such. probably won't be able to go on AIM as much today... sigh... i am an AIM-aholic. the sad thing is... i have this lil "Bible Club" set up where we keep each other accountable for doing QT's everyday... and if we miss one day, then we would get punished -- no AIM for 5 days! yeah, it's so sad... i'm doing my QT's just so that I won't have to miss going on AIM. This is bad. but i guess it's a start for me since I'm soooo lazy... at least i will read the Bible and perhaps finish the whole OT some day... but at the pace i'm going... maybe it'll take another 2 years to finish just the OT. (oh, the monster just walked in... storming down the hall as usual... as if she's important and has something to do...)
hmmph. last nite... my sisters and i got into a nasty argument with my cousin. It was all over something very stupid and very insignificant... although i wasn't too sure what happened cuz i was in the showers when it started... (i feel so bloated right now... i eat too much) i think it was about reading the Bible. Alice was probably complaining about reading it cuz she's in my Bible Club... haha. or perhaps it was too noisy or something, and so she started arguing with Je-Ying... and as if that wasn't enough... Kuan had to sing some sarcastic tune about their bickering or something... or about how Alice shouldn't even bother to read the Bible if she has that attitude. Knowing my sisters, they have major pride issues... they weren't gonna take his joke even if he meant it as a "joke." They thought it was rather condescending... and of course, i had to add oil to the fire... what better way to blow thiings up right? I defended my sisters like any other sibling would do... It was true, Kuan never means it in a bad way... He had every intent of sharing his wisdom of the Bible to them... but they would never listen. Everything he tells them, they thought of as condescending, which, more often than not, was true. Pride is a hard and heavy wall to bulldoze down. My sisters would automatically put up a shield and defend their pride. I know them all too well to know that they weren't going to listen to each other, no matter what the argument was. After all these years of college, I have pride myself in knowing how to deal with others in different situations... and my cousin is still too young to know that criticism doesn't go well with most people, even if it's the truth. Perhaps I am judging him and putting him down as well by saying that he needs the college experience in order to grow and mature, and perhaps to think before he speak or act, because the human heart is weak, and shatters at a pindrop. I have heard from many that I've matured a lot, but have I really? If i have, why am i not setting good examples for my sisters? Kuan had made the mistake of saying that there's no spirituality in our family. ouch. But what he meant to say was... we weren't edifying at all. we weren't edifying to each other, rather, destructive.
I asked Je-Ying to describe me in one word... and she said... self-indulgent. I was rather upset, but perhaps it is the truth that I'm upset over. I think too much of myself and how I feel in situations... I'm not edifying to my sisters... how are they to be edifying to each other or my cousin? At home, I don't live a christian life, I am not patient with my family at all. I take them for granted. Is the real you when you're at home? or when you're out in the world? Home brings out the worst in each person... or perhaps it's just me. Jeying is probably one person that acts the same at home or not, she has a temper sometimes, but that's only cuz she's sensitive.... but she's really actually very mild tempered and patient. haha, that's why i take advantage of her all the time, cuz i can. what is the lesson here? I need to act more Christ-like, I need to be edifying, and I need to set a good example for my sisters (because I truly have a lot of weight to how the behave and act).
hmmph. last nite... my sisters and i got into a nasty argument with my cousin. It was all over something very stupid and very insignificant... although i wasn't too sure what happened cuz i was in the showers when it started... (i feel so bloated right now... i eat too much) i think it was about reading the Bible. Alice was probably complaining about reading it cuz she's in my Bible Club... haha. or perhaps it was too noisy or something, and so she started arguing with Je-Ying... and as if that wasn't enough... Kuan had to sing some sarcastic tune about their bickering or something... or about how Alice shouldn't even bother to read the Bible if she has that attitude. Knowing my sisters, they have major pride issues... they weren't gonna take his joke even if he meant it as a "joke." They thought it was rather condescending... and of course, i had to add oil to the fire... what better way to blow thiings up right? I defended my sisters like any other sibling would do... It was true, Kuan never means it in a bad way... He had every intent of sharing his wisdom of the Bible to them... but they would never listen. Everything he tells them, they thought of as condescending, which, more often than not, was true. Pride is a hard and heavy wall to bulldoze down. My sisters would automatically put up a shield and defend their pride. I know them all too well to know that they weren't going to listen to each other, no matter what the argument was. After all these years of college, I have pride myself in knowing how to deal with others in different situations... and my cousin is still too young to know that criticism doesn't go well with most people, even if it's the truth. Perhaps I am judging him and putting him down as well by saying that he needs the college experience in order to grow and mature, and perhaps to think before he speak or act, because the human heart is weak, and shatters at a pindrop. I have heard from many that I've matured a lot, but have I really? If i have, why am i not setting good examples for my sisters? Kuan had made the mistake of saying that there's no spirituality in our family. ouch. But what he meant to say was... we weren't edifying at all. we weren't edifying to each other, rather, destructive.
I asked Je-Ying to describe me in one word... and she said... self-indulgent. I was rather upset, but perhaps it is the truth that I'm upset over. I think too much of myself and how I feel in situations... I'm not edifying to my sisters... how are they to be edifying to each other or my cousin? At home, I don't live a christian life, I am not patient with my family at all. I take them for granted. Is the real you when you're at home? or when you're out in the world? Home brings out the worst in each person... or perhaps it's just me. Jeying is probably one person that acts the same at home or not, she has a temper sometimes, but that's only cuz she's sensitive.... but she's really actually very mild tempered and patient. haha, that's why i take advantage of her all the time, cuz i can. what is the lesson here? I need to act more Christ-like, I need to be edifying, and I need to set a good example for my sisters (because I truly have a lot of weight to how the behave and act).
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